It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
