John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
