Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
