No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
