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he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Randomize
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