she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though