Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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