Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
