32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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