Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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