im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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