Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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