that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
