one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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