When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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