Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
