IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
