Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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