wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
