I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
