I got chris browned last night
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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