we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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