It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
