i'm signing you up for texting rehab
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
