the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
