Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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