I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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