I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
bring money and cleavage
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
