Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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