i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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