Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize