so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
