the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
