it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
