You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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