Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
