My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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