that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How does one acquire holy water?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
