So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
