pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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