wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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