Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
