i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just puked most of my soul out..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
