yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
