So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize