When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
