So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
