GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
