The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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