As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
