i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
