What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
