these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize