I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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