I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
