God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
