its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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