YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
