the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
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After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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