32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
