fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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