You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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